The First Week of Freedom (Secret Series Finale)

It's been just over a week since I left my job and began working for myself as a full time content creator, and honestly, I've never been happier. I'd explain it here, but words literally cannot describe how it feels.

Fortunately Heather made sure that we took some time to break it down and reflect on this transition.

🎙Ready to start your own podcast? Check out The Podcaster Playbook, a step-by-step DIY course to help you launch your show:
https://podcasterplaybook.com

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
🎯Support the Show
https://patreon.com/tombuck
https://buymeacoffee.com/tombuck

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
📲 Connect!

•Send a voice message to be included in a future episode!
tom@enthusiasmproject.com

•My Podcast with Peter Lindgren:
  https://peterandtom.buzzsprout.com

•The Couple’s Table (with Heather):
  https://couplestable.buzzsprout.com

YouTube: www.youtube.com/tombuck
Twitter: @sodarntom
Main Site: www.himynameistom.com

S4E12 | Series Episode 75

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:21

Hello and welcome. My name is Tom. This is the Enthusiasm Project season four, episode twelve, secret series, episode five. Although it's not so much secret anymore because a bunch of people have heard it, and also we are no longer recording in secret, we're not no longer recording in advance, we're recording in real time, I guess you could call it. So today, I vaguely know what we're going to talk about. If you've been listening, and this is what I appreciate, lots of people have been listening to the last four episodes and giving us all kinds of great feedback about it, and I really appreciate that. And most importantly, uh people have been saying that it's like been really helpful and something really great to listen to. Of course, all credit for that goes to Heather, who's been the executive producer basically. So Heather's here today, and uh now that I've done this intro, she's she's gonna basically just take it from here and we're gonna have a little conversation.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Hello. Okay, ready? Hello, is that kind of like you, the way that you say it?

SPEAKER_03 1:29

I don't know. Hello.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Hello, anyway. Hi, everybody. So, welcome to the final episode of the series. Is the final series? Yeah. Well, we could do an epilogue episode like six months ago.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

Okay, okay. Well, here we go. Breaking news.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

We are in it. Yes. This is this is the uh the final episode. Um, because then you could branch out and do, you know, a whole new season after this, about whatever you want.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Yeah. I got what, I don't know, eight more episodes in this season, nine more episodes.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Oh, we can keep going.

SPEAKER_03 2:02

Well, it's not even a secret anymore. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Yeah, it's not a secret anymore. So the final episode of the secret series. Today, let's contextualize. Um, the last well, first of all, the most recent podcast, the the podcast after this, was You Are Still Working. Yes. It is Wednesday, a week and a half after you are now working for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Yeah, so I have left my job. I'm gone.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

You are gone, and you've been self-employed for a week and a half.

SPEAKER_03 2:34

Yes. Yeah, I left on the 19th, and today is the 31st.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

How's it feel?

SPEAKER_03 2:41

So freaking good.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Okay, so here's the thing. I knew we all knew, let's be honest. We all knew that Tom was gonna be all about this life. I didn't realize how quickly he would adjust. Just knowing him with the guilt and the, you know, the feeling like you're trading something in exchange for this. Yeah, I just I didn't I didn't think it was gonna be as smooth of a transition, but oh, you are in it.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Yeah, no, it's I mean, yeah, it's it I still do feel guilty. Uh, and I still feel if anything, now I just feel scared that it will get taken away.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Well, the crazy thing is that the biggest reason why you left is because now everyone is back in school. And to this week is the first week that you would have had to have been in the classroom with students in a whole weird hybrid model. Oh do you want to possibly and we're back.

SPEAKER_03 3:49

Heather is on the like emergency alert for getting her vaccine, so it ties right into what we were talking about.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

We thought that was I thought that was a vaccine call. We're gonna have to drop everything and go.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

It was not.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

So, anyway, uh, so this is the first week teachers, admins, school students, everyone is back, you know, for the first time in not just and it's not just like everyone's back, but like some people are back, some people are still online.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

That's right, yeah. Yeah, so it's like this mixed thing of like some kids come for Monday and Tuesday, other kids who will be there Thursday and Friday are online Monday and Tuesday, and then there's other kids who are only online, and then Wednesday is like a deep cleaning day, and then Thursday and Friday, a different group of kids comes in, the other kids go online, and the other group that always is online is always online. It's a mess, and you're teaching both at the same time, and I am not doing any of it because I left.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Yes. And like, you know, the one thing that I know about education and especially teachers and admin is that they will oh they will make it work, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

And we're back. It has been no time for you, but it's been a couple hours for us, and Heather is halfway vaccinated. Vaccinated! Oh my goodness, I'm so excited. We could just edit this out, but we decided not to because hey. We're documenting the journey, documenting the journey, and also part of it. It is part of it because also like vaccinations or lack thereof definitely played a factor in my decision to not go back. So uh anyway, we had talked about you know transitioning and that kind of stuff, so I'll throw it back in your court.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

So I think we were going to go into the whole thing about you not being in school anymore, but I think the thing that's the thing that I want to remember, and probably the thing that people want to hear about is what is it like? Do you have any regrets? Uh sorry, Finley's chewing.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

This is like the curse episode.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

But what is it like? So we talked about how you really eased into this transition very, you know, yes, with no um friction at all. Like it's like you've been doing this for a while. But uh, is there anything else like are you know what what what's bothering you now? Is there anything bothering you now?

SPEAKER_03 6:08

I mean, what I mentioned earlier was the fear of losing what I now have. And there's this weird thing which you and I have talked about, and it's like I can describe it as almost a sense of sadness for myself and others when you realize how how much time I spent begging for my own time and to have my own life and to do just be a person today, you know, like we just went to get your vaccine that happened during the the workday, and it's like that would have been such a source of stress of oh my gosh, I have the chance to get this thing, which is very important to get, uh, but oh, I have to get like approval, or you know, what if I left could I leave five minutes earlier? Is that gonna cause like and you're not even doing anything wrong? Yeah, but it's just gonna be this stressful, guilt-ridden experience, and that kind of thing was most of my existence.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

And so to have that just disappear and Yeah, like we can you can literally push pause in the middle of a podcast. We could drop everything, go, come back, and just pick up where we left off. Yeah, it's no display.

SPEAKER_03 7:18

Time doesn't matter, and it's it's just it makes me sad for how much time I just for how much time I spent begging for my own time. And there were breaks, you know, I would get like summer or Christmas or whatever. But there's so much pressure on those breaks, and I think anyone who works like a regular job can identify with that because okay, you finally made it to your break, and now during that time you need to visit family, catch up on all the stuff you've been putting off. If you're someone like me, that means also then, okay, now I need to like dive into my side project and and really get ahead and make progress on that. And you know, I don't know, try it's just like it's so much work to have a break because you're trying to cram everything in, and then there's the stress for if I don't finish it now, then I'll have to wait months until the next break. And and even the weekends were the same thing because it's like I say words if I haven't like, oh, it's been it's been a week and a half. It's been two full weekends though, with no Sunday scaries. But because even the weekends are oh my gosh, we need to I need to do this stuff, I want to do this stuff, and I have to do this stuff, all these different things over here culminating in okay, if I don't finish it, then that means I just need to push pause on this and wait for five or six more days before I can pick it back up. Yeah, and that that's really stressful. And also when you have a break, like I've thought of how many times I've like just struggled to get to spring break or summer vacation or something like that, and it feels good because you have your break and you're like, ah, cool, but you're just putting things off. You I you just know, okay, I didn't finish anything, I just sort of now postponed it for a few weeks or a month or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

And then so everything is in progress.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

It's all just floating.

SPEAKER_03 9:11

You you just it's never out of your mind. Right, it's never far from your mind. There's you know, during summer, it takes weeks to to wind down and weeks before the school year begins to start, you know, p getting back into things. And so that means there's really only a time of there, there's very few days, maybe a week or two, where it's like, okay, I'm actually not really thinking about working. That's it for the year.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Yeah, and I think some people can just switch on and off, like you know, it's last day of school and they're fine, and then they don't think about it till the first day of school, but you're just not like that.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

And I know you're not, I've never known you to not be like that. But here's the crazy thing about seeing you during this week and a half, which I told Tom this, I think it was last night, but I was like, I just thought of the perfect word that that summarizes your whole new everything. Because I kept saying, like, I've never seen you so happy, I've never seen you so happy, but it goes beyond that because yes, that's true. It it's it's actually true. I don't, I've never seen you soon.

SPEAKER_03 10:13

You were just living with a monster.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

It's not that, it's just like you're so you're you're I have never not known you to be perpetual. Like unstressed, yeah. Like there's always something very heavily weighing on your mind, right? So, you know, I I've observed him. He's even been able to do all this work stuff, which we could dive into a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

Uh, in terms of his YouTube channel and stuff like that. He's done home projects, you know. I mean, you you have been busy. It's not like this past week.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

I haven't actually taken a day off yet.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

You haven't taken a day off yet, which I'm sure people would be like, How the hell have you not taken a transitionary break? Yeah, but you got the course and all this. So it's it's really just been business as usual in terms of you know, your other full-time job, which is now your only full-time job.

SPEAKER_03 10:59

So much nicer.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

And the one word that I would use to describe Tom is sexy. I can't believe you just cut me off and say that.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

Sorry. I I was debating if I should or not, and I figured.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

This is true, but not for this podcast audience.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

Sorry, sorry, sorry, you're making a point.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Oh goodness. Um so the one word that I would use to describe Tom's whole new vibe is uh present. Tom is present, he is in the moment, and in I I can't it's almost like it's a different person, which it it makes me feel the same feeling as Tom of just like you feel sorry for yourself for having gone this long. Yeah. But here's an example. Like, um, let's see. So when we take the dogs for W A L K, they go crazy. Yeah. So they go crazy. They just, you know, we're working on it, but they get so hyper, they're so hyped up. Finley's barking his mind off, and it's just all craziness. And usually what happens is that because the dogs are riling each other up and it's loud because they're barking, they're so excited, and they're running around, and we can't get Finlay to put his uh harness on. It's just like I'm trying to cut up the treats, and it's just the whole thing. This time, Tom was like, Oh, or Finley was barking in my ear. Ha ha ha ha, isn't that funny? And he just smiled at me.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Whereas before he would be like, Finlay, oh my god, like Well, no, because I I learned that I can put his harness on if I put him in the garage and he wants to come back inside. He sits at the door and then I can put his harness on, but then he barks and his bark bounces off the door and into my ear, so it's 10 times louder.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

And and he opened the garage door, looked at me with a giant smile on his face, and was like Finley barked in my ear. Sounded it feels like my ear was bleeding. And like I and it this this seems silly, okay? This seems silly, but I promise you, a week and a half ago, Tom would have been like at least an eight on the irritation scale out of ten. Like we're you know, the strain in the voice, like probably a raised voice, and like stomping around probably and just mad, and then now we're just mad.

SPEAKER_03 13:28

Not mean or like physically let's just be clear here.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Yeah, of course not. Frustrated, just very, very, very frustrated, and then like I would feel bad, and you know, and then it's just like uh but now you're just like ha ha ha, okay, now we're going for a W E L K. And then you just have it's like you can't stop smiling. I've never, yeah, like you're just always smiling, like you're picking up trash because our trash like tipped over and the wind blew it away, and he just picked it up and just carried the trash the whole way home with a giant smile on his face.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Well, it was because we found it around the corner. It's like, is that our Coke Zero box? It is, it's torn for the fridge specifically.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

And like, okay, the dog threw up in the middle of the night. Tom would have in a in another life, Tom would have woken up just so pissed because his, you know, he can when you're when you have a job that you have to show up to, right? Like if you don't sleep well or if you sleep late, you are cutting into the amount of sleep that you can get. So the doctor's up and it's a whole thing because we have to clean it up, we have to make sure they're okay, we have to, you know, it's not like we're going right back to bed. But oh, and before you would have been like, Oh my god, like I can't sleep, I'm so tired. This time you're like, Are you okay? Are you okay, Ben, or whoever it was, and just like and you just, you know, you're like, okay, now I'm just gonna be on the iPad and now I'm gonna go back to bed.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

Well, okay. I hope I I don't sound like just a monster prior to this, just this is angry, frustrated.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

But the reason why I say present is because that's the thing. Like, if you wake up in the middle of the night because the dog's throwing up, it's not that you are frustrated at the dogs or frustrated me, it's you're frustrated because you you know you have to wake up at a certain time because of work. Now you can sleep in, you could take a nap during the middle of the day. Like it doesn't matter. So even though the same things are happening, it it doesn't irritate you or annoy you or cause any negative.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

Well, because that's because I get to be for like the really the first time in charge of my own time. And it and I know I'm gonna get my stuff done. It's not like I'm sitting on the couch all day. I need to sit on the couch more, but like it's it's basically just what you said. I I know that okay, if I need to sleep a little longer, I can. If we're I it doesn't matter if we do something later at night and now we stay up a little later because you know, like the alarm's gonna go off at 5 a.m.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

It totally doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_03 16:02

And then it would compound before two, because if you're tired on Monday, it's not like you're gonna be more rested on Tuesday. It just Ugh.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

And then now, so it's like, okay, if the dog W A L Ks are longer, you you used to be like, okay, here's everything that I need to do when you get home from work, but before you go back and go before you go to bed, which is like you know a couple hours. Yeah, maybe you get a workout, and you you have to work on your YouTube channel, like you know, and we we gotta take the dogs out, and it's a whole thing, but now it's just like, well, that's cool. It's like and it's just as your wife, it is so it's like such a relief to see you so unstressed.

SPEAKER_03 16:44

Nothing, I promise you, no amount of meditation, journaling, uh, therapy, anything would have ever even caused the night and day difference that this is all all of the stuff that for my whole for as long as I can remember, and for this job specifically the last decade, all of those things, all of those frustrations, all of those stresses, literally you just snap it away, and it doesn't it doesn't matter, like whatever.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Like it just and let me tell you how this is translated into his YouTube channel because well, not YouTube channel, but the brand, the business. I have never seen Tom work so hard. I mean, I think because you just didn't have the time to be able to work as much as you wanted or can.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

Right. Well, it's also because I uh I'm not constantly switching between stuff and trying to squeeze things in here. Oh, I have a quick break. Oh, I could jump in and work on this thing here, now I can do this.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

And the only time where you've been able to work on your stuff for for you know longer than like an hour or whatever is on a Saturday, where if you're gonna work on a Saturday or Sunday, you're gonna feel bagged because you know that your time, like I am also competing for your time. The dogs are also competing for your precious weekend time, and so you there's this sense of guilt of like okay, I'm going on five hours now of you know working on my stuff, but not spending time with the family and this whole thing. And now it's just it's just gone. There's there's enough time for it all.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

And like in a week and a half, in a week and a half, Tom has crunched out an online course. Two videos?

SPEAKER_03 18:26

Uh two or three, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Well, the online course is how many videos in itself?

SPEAKER_03 18:32

Is yeah, twenty five videos?

SPEAKER_00 18:36

In a week and a half.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

You had not started this a week and a half ago.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

Yeah, no, not the not the actual production side of it. The planning. For those of you who bought the course, the planning was done, just not the actual production, and now the production is done.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

But that's cra that's like a crazy amount of work.

SPEAKER_03 18:52

Yeah, I'm exhausted from that, but uh it's done, and I could focus I could focus on it. I could sit there literally by because I the you know, I would try to do record a section a day, which is each section's about six parts, and I could be done with a whole section recording by like before 10 a.m. If I started at 7 30 or 8, because it's just going through the material, and then you have to edit it and break it up and do all that. That's very different, but just the the sit-down recording, communicating the material, and that that's how long it should take. But prior to this, it would have been like, okay, I can do these two parts here. Tomorrow afternoon, I'll do the other part, and then I'll do the other part, and now because also I'm doing it on a million different days, I have to like put in extra work to keep consistency and continuity going so that someone doesn't go through and it's like, why is everything different in every section?

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Switching your setup, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

Plus, the setup would be switched, so everything, like, okay, let me let me bring it would cause me so much stress. It just reminded me of like when I had my MacBook and I'd have to unplug everything and bring it to school and set up everything there, and then do things there, and then unplug everything there and bring it home and set up here. It's like it doesn't sound like much, but it it's it's like when somebody says, Hey, can we just do a call for 45 minutes? And you're like, Yeah, but it's not gonna be 45 minutes because there's prep time and there's like cleanup or breakdown time, whatever you want to call it, and that's gonna add on to that. And it's the same thing, like there's the transition time, there's a setup time, there's just the exhaustion of like I don't know. I literally just I told you this earlier. I can't, I couldn't imagine like doing my job anymore. Like, I just couldn't imagine me doing it anymore. Like it just I don't know what that means. Yeah, and obviously the solution isn't for everyone in the world to just quit their jobs, but also I I don't it's I don't know, there's there's so much that I'm still processing and feel guilty about, but the thing I want to point out, which you pointed out, so this isn't me feeling like braggy or anything, but it's it's like there there were years put into building something that so there was an option to transition to.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Well, like even you be even you being able to crunch out 25 very like well-produced, high-polished videos for a course that you can be proud of, so it's at your standard, it isn't just anybody's course, yeah. It's your standard for you to be able to do that in a week and a half is like I mean, that's years of practice. That's years of practice of of the confidence and the competence of the thing that you're teaching, of being able to produce your video. Okay, how long for the past what two, three days? I've been working on redoing my studio and getting every light set up and the angles and you know, moving things around, moving furniture around, all of this stuff. It took you years, and and throughout this process, I've been peeking into Tom. I have to walk past Tom's room to get to my room because mine's at the end of the hall. Just look at his office and I'm like, it's perfect. Like it's it's perfect for him, but it's perfect for him. And I'm I I was like frustrated, like, oh, I wish I had that perfect setup for mine because I I wasn't happy with it until this morning, which yay, I figured out. Thank you, darling, for helping with that. You're welcome. But I even thought, like, it took you iterations for you to build even this setup and get all the equipment and learn how to use it. And, you know, you've tested hours and hours and hours and hours of the perfect way to do it. So now that when you sit here, you're not fumbling your fingers trying to figure out, okay, you know.

SPEAKER_03 22:39

Well, that's the thing that that helped me to like kind of eliminate some of the guilt was and you you're the one you're the one that kind of put this thought into my mind. And I don't know if you said this exactly, but it was it's almost like if you get a promotion at work, ideally it's it's a merit-based promotion, right? You do your job, you you get confidence, they get boosted into a position. And if I look at this as that, like there's been position, there's been a lifetime of practice and education and skill building and all of this stuff so that you can move into this new position. It's not just like I'm a millennial, so I'm gonna quit my job and eat avocado toast all day because that's the thing I want to do, and that's not that's not what's happening. Um, but you know, like I don't know. That's just sort of looking at it that way has helped me to feel I don't know why I even feel guilty. It's just it's just so good.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

It's so you feel guilty because you're Tom. Right, yeah. So you're always gonna feel guilty for being. But I think like, you know, that's the one of the things that we're really passionate about and we love talking about is this whole like creator economy middle class whole situation. And I think that millennials just so happen to be primed to make this kind of a transition because you're not in your early 20s. You you've put in the work, right? You've done the time, you know, you're not entry level. Whatever, where wherever you're working, you have not only education and work experience, but life experience, you know, and you're used to figuring things out, you're resourceful. And if you're really passionate about something, whether it's, you know, I don't know, yoga, vegan cooking, photo, video, entrepreneur, whatever it is, like you can totally build a brand around that.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

But it's also like not quitting the job and now clicking the create account button and like figuring it out, but having having worked the two full-time jobs for many years, the side thing can turn into a full thing. Yeah, and it's it's hard because it's like you can't obviously that would be the dream. Like, I know that wasn't the goal when I started my channel, but if you had asked me, like, hey, you want to start this YouTube channel? It's not realistic. Yeah, what everything. Yeah, I know, but if you had asked me, like, what if uh just magically I will transfer your salary to do this instead, I would have jumped at the opportunity even though that wasn't why I was doing it. And so you it's like it's like this tricky thing where it's you can't really start something with that goal in mind because I think it's almost setting you up for failure because the expectations and the purpose and all that stuff are are not there.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

I will tell you, having done it the other way, where I was clicking create account after I had quit. Uh let's just say Tom's transition has been a lot more smoother.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

Yeah, but to get to that point though, there was the overlap between the two, which was extensive, right? Was backbreaking. And you know, like that it's not You paid your dues.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

You paid your dues.

SPEAKER_03 25:37

Sure, we'll call it that. But yeah, so that's I guess that's I just have to keep reminding myself that it's no, it is still very much work, you know, like and and it's hard too, because the thing I'm working on is the thing I it's what I used to do in my free time. So that's why it's like I haven't taken a day off, but I know I need to watch that and make sure that I do take days off, but it's like well, this is what I want, this is what I would normally do on my day off, so what do I do?

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Yeah, but it is I think you know this, but it is important to turn your brain off and to like just not be creative.

SPEAKER_03 26:12

It's the perfect storm of like also I was in the middle of making a course. The course, like the pre-order people get access to it in less than a week, so it there's no choice but to finish it. Yeah. And oh wait, the day that this comes out, huh? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Today.

SPEAKER_03 26:29

If you miss the pre-order, go to hi, my name is Tom.com slash wait list to be notified when the regular orders start. Yeah, look at that. See, selling, selling, you gotta pay those bills. Um, but like that needs to be done. And doing pre-orders for that, that was such a discussion we had over like I wasn't comfortable with it because I didn't want someone to pay for something that didn't exist yet. And then I just started looking at more like um uh Kickstarter campaigns and those kinds of things where people are investing in because they want the potential of something.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 27:06

And obviously, I knew I'm not gonna just flake out on everybody, but once people actually did pay for the pre-order, and I had the outline, I had the idea, it just didn't exist yet. Um, that really lit the fire of like this needs to get done. But also I'm not going to feel I'm not going to be able to go hang out on the couch and do nothing if I know that there's something that people paid for that I can't deliver yet. So once that's up and running and out to the people who paid for it, and then even better, available for more people. Like I could be taking a nap on the couch and someone could buy it and get something good out of it, and I don't have to lift a finger. Uh, and hopefully that's a thing that happens. That would be amazing. And that's, you know, like at it's at that point once the course is done, and I'm working hard to get ahead on YouTube stuff, so then everything can kind of be self-sustaining for a week or two, and then I can just take some time.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

You definitely need to do it. Do some house projects and stuff, yeah. So let's think back to you. Yeah. What you were you obviously were very hesitant. This was not something that you, you know, it was an easy decision. Obviously, the pandemic kind of pushed, you know, pushed you in a direction, but you know, this is something that I've been trying to get you to do for years.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

Before it was feasible, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Yeah. Uh so like comparing those thoughts to how it is now that you're on the other side.

SPEAKER_03 28:37

It's crazy because people have been sending messages, you know, like when I when I and like posted a thing saying this is my last time in my classroom and all that stuff, people sent me lots of messages. And the thing that I like that I was able to say is I don't think there's anybody who would be more hesitant than me to do this, or anybody who I would have thought would be less likely to do it. So if I'm doing it, that means that it is possible. It can be done. Yeah, it doesn't mean be reckless or anything, but I mean it's nothing, it's I I can't I can't even think, like, I don't know, being a cage fighter, like what else is something that I'd be like, that's just not something I could ever do. And this is so much that thing.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

It's not even like you never even thought about it. I know you didn't.

SPEAKER_03 29:27

No, because it's you know, and I'm still learning to navigate stuff like uh it's not gonna be all sunshine rainbows, we know that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

But I think you're doing such a good job of I mean, like you said, it's perfect timing, so yeah, there's like a natural uh I don't know, deadline. And this isn't you haven't figured out your weekly routine or if you're gonna have that or what what your days are gonna look like or anything. Uh but I forgot what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

Well, it's okay. Thought got away. It's just I I don't know, like so much of it just comes down to that idea, which we've talked about before, and it like it gets more philosophical and recognizing that the having the opportunity to do this is a is a blessing and a privilege for sure. But getting to the idea of like it just sucks how much of your time you spend, or most people spend, I guess, doing things that they don't want to do, and everybody has to do things they don't want to do, but when most of your time, the majority of your waking hours in the prime years of your life are spent doing something that at best you're pretty okay with, and I and there's probably something else that you would be so much happier and more fulfilled doing, but it's just like we are raised and brought up to think that you you're supposed to put that off to the side. If something is enjoyable, then it can't possibly be work, it needs to be a side thing, work sucks, that's why you do it, that's why it's called work and not play. Like all of those stupid things, and then I I don't know, I guess you do that until I don't know. I mean, who knows what's gonna happen in years from now. So it's like, you know, my like be working in a school system, the day-to-day can really suck sometimes, but you have at least a clear idea of this basic thing is what will keep happening until I retire in decades.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

Well, see, the the the other thing is that I feel like there's so much inefficiency when you're working for somebody else because you're you're not I think a lot of people uh you got lucky in this regard, but I think for a lot of people, you're hired because your skills match the position. It's not because this position was created for you. I think you had a little bit of that. Well, in like my most recent position, yes, but prior to that, no, it was you need to but even then because you're in public education, so much of your creativity, energy, talent, whatever you bring to the table is just lost or spent on waste. It's like wasted. Whereas when you're your own boss, like you're only gonna work on the things that you are best at.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

You know what I mean? And you you it's like you unlock a potential that you can never, of course, you know, there's something to be said about you can definitely get a lot more done with a team and stuff like that. Like that's something I really miss is having, you know, what you can achieve with a group of people, but just like you don't have to sit there in a staff meeting. Like you could spend an hour, even recharging on the couch is more productive to your overall output than like, you know, well, just making decisions.

SPEAKER_03 32:53

Like, I I can't remember if we talked about this on a podcast or not, but I started doing consultations last fall. And for some reason, I guess because I didn't think that people would want to spend money to have an hour consultation and feel like that was enough, even though that's literally the thing they're spending money on. That I was like, well, it needs to go above and beyond. And I'll record it and I'll I'll send them a follow-up with the recording, and then I'll um I'll put together a summary of everything we talked about. That's of course very beautiful and formatted very nice and has all the links, and not just links, like if we talked about, oh, you should get this camera, here's a link to it, but here's a link to it and a description of this is what we talked about. This would be good for your blah blah blah to use this away, which each of those took at least a half hour to write. So, you know, it's like we talked about it's an hour consultation. There's at that point I'm spending a half hour setting up all the different angles and things to go over and then doing the consultation, another half hour wrapping that up. And you were like, they're not why they're not signed, that's not part of the deal. Like, that's not a bonus feature that they're signing up for. They don't even know about that until I tell them during the thing, oh, just so you know when we're done. And it was like, oh, so instead, what I'll do is I'll let them record it if they want. So on their end, they can press record, and then if they want to, they they have the copy. I don't have to do anything there. And I can paste links in the the Zoom chat during our meeting, and they can open them and bookmark them. And I don't need to do a follow-up, so when the meeting is over, which is the hour that has been paid for, I click end and then it is done. And obviously, you encourage me to do that, but that was a very big shift in terms of like process and procedure, and it got to be made in just a second, you know.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Yeah, who Yeah, you didn't have to have a committee meeting, you didn't have to run it by anybody, didn't have to be a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

And most most of what I would normally do is I would make a decision like that and then just not tell anybody and be nervous until somebody was like, hey, why is this, you know, like it's sort of the beg for forgiveness thing, but there's no there's no one to beg for forgiveness from. And it's just just how much time I spent apologizing for existing, I know, and for just like just trying, like, oh well, if if I want a little bit of time to myself, I need to put in ten times as much time doing something I don't want to do, just so I can get a little bit of time for myself because that's for some reason how it has to be.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

So could you have told your your past self this, like that this is what you were did you realize that this is what you would also be getting when you quit your job?

SPEAKER_03 35:29

Like the feeling or the Yeah, the feeling, the freedom, the you know I mean, I think that's what I wanted more than anything was that freedom. It just the part that I can never reconcile was I like I remember there's like a scene in office space, yeah, office space from 20 something years ago, where like the main guy is like his dream is to do nothing. Like if you had a million dollars, what would you do? And he says, I would do nothing, I would do nothing at all. And like his friends, like, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing. Like, my cousin's broke, he does nothing all day. And it's like that's not the goal, like the freedom of time, but the the idea that you can you can create something in a way where you can spend your time doing things that you're interested in, skilled at, and passionate about, and it will generate revenue to support you, and it won't kill your soul. Yeah, like that idea is what is very hard.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

I wish this for every human being.

SPEAKER_03 36:32

It would the world would be a much better place. Uh and it's you know, like I don't know. I again still feeling guilty and still feeling, you know, waiting for the other shoe to drop of to stop. I know, but it's just I don't know, it's just you. It's just I'm used to you need to be working at something that's very, very frustrating and difficult to just sort of eke out your time on the side if if you can manage it.

SPEAKER_00 37:01

Yeah. This is a story for another day, but I just thought of it before I forget, I just want to tell you. So Philip DeFranco, one of our favorite YouTube channels, he's moving. Yes, and his new space is like so cool.

SPEAKER_03 37:16

It is all right then. What what is the connection here?

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Just because remember how we we have talked about like a creator space. I know we the last episode was literally like how we didn't want to hire anybody.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Yeah, I totally don't.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

But I like the idea of like, hey, you know, what if our business grew and now like let's think five, ten year goal? I mean, I think that's cool.

SPEAKER_03 37:40

For now, I'm yeah, I'm not ready. Uh it's the same thing of like right now, the idea of involving anyone other than you in anything is it's not just like, oh, I can't imagine doing that. I do not want to do that. I every day I scroll through Twitter and I see people who are like, the best thing I ever did for my business was start hiring out other people.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

I'm like, don't talk like that because I swear one day.

SPEAKER_03 38:06

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, and I know there's reasons and they have reasons.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

There are things I don't think that like an editor is the thing, but maybe there's like a VA or something.

SPEAKER_03 38:16

There's there's for sure things to outsource to other people to help. And I know that, and I know there's value in that, but also I think it's very important to look at like what your specific goals and needs are. Because if you are saying, okay, I'm gonna work for myself, so now to be legit, I need to get a real office. Okay, now I need to get an office, but now I need to get an assistant because that's what that's real and that's legit. And now you have this insane amount of overhead that you have to, and then everything is just insanely stressful instead of going, okay, what I want is to work for myself. Check it out. There's an extra bedroom in the house. Cool, that's gonna be my workspace. This is what I'm gonna do. And it's just sort of like I don't have ambitions that go beyond that because for me as well.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

You mean you haven't been a person for 35 years.

SPEAKER_03 39:07

For me right now, that that's what gives me the freedom.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Yeah, this is what you want.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Anything beyond that is going to start. I mean, at this point, anything beyond that is going to start taking away that freedom, and I don't want to do that right now down the line. You never know. Like, you know, I you never know where things are gonna go. I couldn't have predicted this a few years ago, so I'm not gonna predict five years from now. But I I just I just think it's so important to understand what you want because that can make it so attainable if you're looking at physical spaces. Now, I'm not I'm not talking about your idea, but people who are looking for offices and assistance and crews and all this kind of stuff, then it's like that leap is so yeah. How can you possibly now you're starting a giant company, but if you're looking at this is what I want to do, our expenses are very reasonable. Like we don't live in a high cost area, we we don't have car payments, we don't have to do loan payments, like you know, there's just like a practicality to it, and that makes it that works real nice, yeah. It makes it real nice, but again, down the line, you never know. Having like spaces to do things in in a world where people could go places and do things post-COVID.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

Can we think about that yet? Right.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

Maybe by the time that is a thing, then we'll be but I don't know. Sure. Uh but there, I mean the fact that you never know what the possibility is.

SPEAKER_00 40:36

So what would you say to your past self? What would you say to think think back to think back to Tom who was just you know Yeah, how past are we talking here? Like uh you were at your past at some point in your previous job where you just really were like, I'm cool if today was over and I just want to start the next day.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

Right. It would the thing that I would say to anybody, including myself, in that situation, is that there are a lot of days that will pop up where you have to do stuff you don't want to do, no matter what your day-to-day is. And so as soon as there's a day where a bunch of things you don't want to do or something, you it's natural to go like, Oh, I can't wait till this is over. That's normal. When that becomes every day, where you wake up in the morning and the first thought that you have is like, when can I get back in bed? The sun's not even up on a brand new day, and you're wishing the day was over, and you don't do that most days, that's a problem. And the thing that I would want to let myself know is that while I have achieved a level of success in this very traditional thing, doing so also means like stifling a completely separate part of myself and potential, and just it's it's almost like a dumbing down of myself to fit into this other thing, and check it out. You could instead embrace that part of yourself and grow it, and grow it, and if this doesn't fit into that, then you can drop this, yeah. And that and you know, like I know it sounds like I'm being very bitter on my teaching career, and I'm not, I am very bitter at the public education system. That's a whole separate episode, but obviously, there's been amazing things. Obviously, I couldn't do what I'm doing now without that career, and beyond that, of course, you're impacting students and you're building all these relationships and stuff, but I can definitely say that like that is not something those thoughts are not something that's gonna sustain me. It was not gonna sustain me anymore. Like, I did it for 11 years, and that would there's no more nutritional value to get out of that.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

It would have just been rinse and repeat. Yeah, and you're just not the type of person it I I know the feeling of like you just you tune out, you pull back on the creativity, and you just especially in a school system, it's just like okay, just do another year, do another year.

SPEAKER_03 43:19

Well, that see, this is what I was kind of thinking about because there's there's a um survey that came out recently that said this past year, the COVID year, something like more than 60% of teachers have considered quitting. And there's already a teacher shortage pre-COVID. So 60% of already not enough teachers quit. I mean, that's just like the most ridiculous teacher shortage ever. Now, of course, the number of teachers who consider quitting versus the number who do, you know, that's very different. Like who's close to retirement? Who's actually gonna do a career change? Who are the people that say they're gonna quit but then don't, and who are the people that COVID or not are gonna say are the ones that are like saying they're gonna quit every year for. For 26 years. There's just those people who every year they're just like, I'm gonna quit and they're there the next year and there the next year. So I know that's not an accurate number. But one of the dangers with teaching specifically is because it is on that cycle, which I always considered a benefit, that like the academic calendar. But the problem with it is that most of teaching, you know, most of the time, if you look through like, I guess I shouldn't say November, December, because there's so many like holidays there that you can just go like, I just gotta get this, just gotta do three more weeks, just gotta, just gotta, even though you're wishing away weeks and weeks of your life to get to those breaks, the like January through May part of it is so incredibly brutal. It's the stint, yeah. That's always where I was the most depressed, the most stressed out, the most sick, the most like everything. Yep. Uh and by the time that that's over, you're so close to the end of the school year, which is such a fun time. It's springtime, everybody's exciting, the end is in sight, you're staring down the barrel of a summer vacation, and then you're just like, I did it. So, all those thoughts of like it reminds me of when I got my super crazy food poisoning from Taco Bell. So, for anyone who doesn't know, I got insane food poisoning, not just food poisoning, like food poisoning from Taco Bell. Call the ambulance. Called the ambulance. I thought I was gonna die. I was sick for a week. I I can't describe the pain that I came in that came from that. And I remember it was so painful. This was like five years ago now. It was so painful and so terrible that during it I remember going, remember how this feels and remember like how terrible this is, so that you never go to Taco Bell again. Because I don't care if this is a one in a hundred chance, it's so not worth it. And I've not been back to a Taco Bell since then because of that. And that I wish I would have done that in like March of a regular school year when I instead of getting to the end where it's like, okay, that was exhausting, but now there's a break. You maybe recover a little bit of your rest during the break, and then you head into the next year, and you're like, okay, this year I'm gonna prioritize exercise, I'm gonna set limits, I'm gonna be healthy, and you do that for four weeks, and then the year kicks in, and you just it's like you get just enough time to come up for air that you think you can keep holding your breath, but you're not doing any favors to it to yourself or anybody by doing I don't know, I don't just tell all teachers to quit their chops at this point, but it's a thing with the academic calendar where if you have that itch to try something else or that itch to leave, it the cycle of it can can just kind of keep pulling you back in and keep think keeping you feeling like yeah, you have enough time or it's not too bad.

SPEAKER_00 46:49

So see, this is why I think it's I think it's different person to person. And I think that you know, if if these podcasts, these secret the secret series or these episodes really have have resonated with you in a way where like you really feel like we're speaking to you, I think we are, but I think there's people out there who are they they need the structure, like they need and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people are followers and some people are leaders, and and some people just need to be told what to do, and they like for me, even for me, I am the best second person in command. Like, I hate steering the ship, I hate doing that. It's probably the part I like the least out of being a self-employed person, but holy crap, like I'm the best executor once the vision is ironed out. But there's some people who just need they need the nine to five, they need a Monday through Friday, and there's nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_03 47:50

No, no, no, no. I if you're if you're psyched about it, and it also goes back to like I I know we need to wrap up in a second, but it goes back to when I got like my first teaching job, the stability, the salary, the health insurance, the schedule, the not working weekends. That was so cool. Those were such luxuries that like I was so happy to have that that I knew the weeks were brutal and miserable, but like it was some it was something I had never had before that was so valuable to me that it that it did outweigh the the pros outweighed the negatives at that point. But then 11 years passed and things just shifted a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 48:28

It's like when I got my last job, I got a new car and I paid for a lot of it, you know. Uh I started I started doing the most adult thing ever, which was take my clothes to dry cleaning on a regular basis. And I just was like, I've never I feel so grown up. Like this is it. I'm there. I thought it was so cool. Like my metropolitan Yeah, with my freaking beach apartment and yeah, living the life.

SPEAKER_03 49:00

So the thing I would say to somebody who who it's funny you you said what you said, because I was talking to my mom yesterday, and she specifically, of all the people who I did not expect to be supportive, she's been very supportive. And she said yesterday she said um like she was kind of asking how things are going, and she was like, Well, you don't need someone to be watching over your shoulder and like breathing down your neck because you're you're a doer and you'll just get stuff done that you need to do. And I was like, Yeah, like I'm not gonna I'm not looking to slack it, like you're right. What I hate is being inefficient and ineffective, but I'm more than happy to work really hard at something that makes sense and that I can be effective at. But the the other thing though that I would say to anyone like that is in no way am I intending to be demeaning to someone. Like if you are a teacher and you're happy and you're listening and you're like, oh geez, like then that's great. There's that's fantastic. Obviously, like we kind of need really good teachers. What I am saying though is for somebody who, especially if you're not 18 and you can just make a billion mistakes because there's no consequences yet, you're older, maybe you've established a career and a life and responsibilities and stuff, but it doesn't feel like it's the best fit for you anymore. You don't have to just stick it out until you die or until you're older, and like maybe you have a little bit of time to then do what you want. You can transition, and more than any time in history, we live at a point where you have the ability to craft you can design your life in a way that's never been possible before, and it doesn't even matter like where you live. It's not like, well, I need to move to this country or this state because that's the industry that I'm in. Obviously, that's true for some things, but for so much of it, it's like you can just do your thing independently, sometimes literally from home, and you can start something that could turn into something else, and I'm the last person in the world who ever thought that that is something that would happen. And well, the past couple weeks have been the best, the absolute best thing. And everybody I talked to after they knew that I was leaving, I was so shocked, including people that I thought absolutely love their jobs. Every single person I talked to face to face said, if I had a way out, I would love to go to. Like, I wish I had a way out, I feel stuck. People who I was like, you're like the cheerleader for what's happening, they were just like, I wish I had an option. And it just showed me the importance of just doing something that might give you some kind of option.

SPEAKER_00 51:44

Like, if you have an itch, scratch the itch. Yeah, if you have any fear of like, hell, maybe you should start a podcast, maybe you should start a YouTube channel, maybe you should start a blog, maybe you should start a you know a website, whatever it is. If you have any kind of itch, but you are scared of you know what people are gonna think, oh my gosh, like put all of that aside. This, like the potential of what it can possibly grow into is so much more important than what anyone's gonna think about it.

SPEAKER_03 52:09

Right, because they know if it generates zero revenue, it can be an amazing creative outlet to keep you safe.

SPEAKER_00 52:15

At the very least, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

And you never know where it will go, and and it'll build some skills, it'll do something. It could just at least be an option because good lord, when suddenly they're like, We're gonna be doing online classes all year. Oops, never mind. We'll get more money if we open sooner. So we're gonna open sooner instead. It doesn't matter that everyone's not vaccinated and there's no plans and it's going to be terrible. That's what we're gonna do. And I was able to say, Nope. Yeah, like having that option was amazing versus literally right now, every day I would be just stressed out and crying and freaking out and putting myself in a situation where I didn't feel safe. Where I was straight up wouldn't be safe, yeah. Like, and and not having to put yourself in those situations is is a very powerful thing. So if there's something you can do now to just open a door, open a window, whatever, I scratch the itch. Scratch the itch. There we go.

SPEAKER_00 53:14

And if you have any questions about podcast YouTube stuff, uh hit us up. Yeah, we're happy to chat.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

Where can, since this is the finale, thank you so much for encouraging me to do this and for being the executive producer because you've orchestrated the whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 53:32

If people want to reach out me too.

SPEAKER_03 53:35

If people want to reach out to you specifically, where could they find you?

SPEAKER_00 53:38

Uh you can find me on YouTube at youtube.com slash heather just create or youtube.com slash Heather Amirez or on Instagram at Heather Just Create.

SPEAKER_03 53:46

There we go. And you know where to find me, so I'm not even gonna say it. So thank you for listening, and thank you to everybody who's been showing your support. And I it's it's amazing. I appreciate it. Um, and it's been really fun to kind of document this journey. I hope it's been interesting and helpful in some kind of way, and maybe you gleaned something from it that you can use in your own life. So thank you so much, appreciate it, and we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_00 54:13

Bye.